I'm telling you today is an interesting day to say the least. I woke up ready for the world. Armed with gratitude and the spirit of expectancy, I was a force to be reckoned with. I was eager to speak with my client about our weight loss plans. I have an event in a few weeks, and I needed to contact some key individuals in regards to plans that I made to ensure the success of the event. On top of all that I was super excited about my Instagram shout-out that was to go out later on this morning. I was expecting everyone to be just as excited as I was, and I was expecting this shout-out to bring me in a smorgasbord of new followers that we're ready to embark on this offthebeat journey with me.
I speak with my client her energy is off, she had just weighed herself and the scale didn't say what she had expected. You see the day before the scale said 248lbs which was awesome seeing as in how our goal for this week was that exact number. This morning the scale told her, her previous weight which was 258lbs. Now that's a blow to the ego, because she weighed in at 254 just a few days prior. I told her I didn't care what the scale said, she's a winner and our goal will be met or exceeded. I went ahead on and told her that I wanted her to purchase a pair of goal jeans. I believe in monitoring weight loss success by how clothes fit, not solely the numbers on a scale. There are too many factors that play into scale measurements. For instance, water weight, hormonal imbalances, and hell the body doing what it wants to do I'm not a scale junkie okay! Anyway she started blabbering about how she didn't think she could fit into a particular size by the end of the month, because that would be to extreme. My blood began to boil, because she's messing with my faith now. I'm sitting here believing in her, making plans to celebrate her win, and she's recoiling into the arms of fear. We hash it out and the day moves on.
Next, I'm attempting to contact some key players in this event that I'm having in a few weeks. It's an important event to me, did I forget to mention that? It's an event for prayer. Ain't the prayer important, you would think!! I'm getting sent to voicemail and getting texts back as my responses. I finally get a hold of one of the people I needed to speak with. He's more concerned about some foolishness than our event. Not to mention I'm paying for it and it would benefit him to at least act interested.
I'm tired, I've been up since 12am working. Things at work went okay, considering I had double back to the office because of a a mistake they made. I'm getting a little bit cranky now. I send out another text to someone, and guess what, you guessed it, I didn't receive a response back. I feel like I'm being ignored now.
From web developers acting hormonal, and oh yeah my Instagram shout-out went out late and my response wasn't like my previous responses. Nothing is acting right. Things are okay, but not great.
All I can hear is this inaudible voice whisper in my ear this question, " Do you really mean it when you tell me thank you?"
I couldn't ignore this voice like times before. I'm a changed man. I know the secret. Gratitude is the secret, but why was it so hard to find Gratitude now?
The answer was simple. I wasn't looking hard enough for it. I was claiming to be a different man, and expecting to respond to my life in the same old ways as before. Nope, that's not going to work this time buddy, or should I say man of God.
Usually the hormones of stress would win in this battle. They would present me with food or my favorite, women to help take the edge off. But no I made a commitment to follow God this time. I made a commitment to worship and thank my way through. Not food, not sex, not idol conversation. Non of those toy's that I have used time and time before. I'm armed with the knowledge that my Gratitude will bring me out.
Come to think about it, that's why nothing is working the way I want it to. God wants some one on one time with me so that He can have His way with me. I realize that if I'm going to go to the next level I have to defeat that old devil within me that's held me hostage within myself. Sooner or later you come to realize that the enemy is not outside of you but it's within. It's not those circumstances or even other people, it's your perception that's at war here. My perception about my current reality was in direct contradiction to the Truth of God within me. That's where the pain was coming from. My conditioned ego was attempting to stay in control, it didn't want to give over it's control to the spirit of Truth. But it had to. I had surrendered. I got tired of recycling the same experiences and emotions. My faith had to rise to the level of my knowledge. I knew the truth, but I hadn't surrendered to the Truth. I knew that in order for me to set free this new me, radical Gratitude and Worship were in order.
I took control of my mind, and I started to tell it what I had, instead of what I thought I didn't. I overflowed it with the Awareness of my having more than enough. Amazing things happen when you flood your consciousness with Gratitude. Your problems turn into what they are, data that's simply popping up. Instead of you being overwhelmed with fear, you're detached and you become the spectator of your thoughts instead of the particapater. Gratitude overwhelmes you with intimate knowledge of who and what you really are, and you realize that you're lacking nothing.
This is scary, you have to trust what you can't see with your mortal eyes. You have to give up your past memories about what could or should have happened, and you simply must trust that small inaudible voice that says, " Relax I got you".
I was speaking to a friend of mine the other day. She told me how she was struggling with her finances, and that, that day she made her mind up to simply trust God that day despite her only having a few dollars in her pocket. Long story short her child's father sent in his child support, which was already a few months behind. He didn't send all of what he was supposed to, but he sent in some money nonetheless.
December 15, 2016
What I like about this plan is that I'm regular. You know my bowl movements are flowing. With the addition of my magnesium and my increasing my green food intake I feel lighter, more energetic, and of course I'm regular.
My main secret is wrapped up in one word
I'm not allowing myself to get used to doing things the right way. I'm not allowing myself to get used to being in time with my blogs, doing what I say, when I say ( when it pertains to my business or goals). I know this sounds crazy and counterintuitive, but trust me it works.
You ready for a secret.....
Being Relentless is what I'm getting used to. Oh yeah, I am down 5lbs!
How I'm talking to myself is literally controlling my actions. The thing is before that was the truth, it's only now I'm conscious of my inner dialogue.
Before I would say stuff but I wouldn't be persistent with the things that I said. This time, I'm extremely committed to doing what I say.
What's making the difference is that I'm hard and friendly with myself. Normally I would be too hard on myself and end up half assing my training, because I would feel inadequate for not executing my goal the way I envisioned. Today my goal was to run 6 miles fasted. Guess what I couldn't. I started power walking over half way through the first 3 miles. My mind got ashamed. I quickly said to myself, hey we're out here and we're going to get our money's worth. By any means necessary will we complete 6 miles, run, walk, or crawl. I did it too.
Normally after my training sessions I'm wasted and I don't want to stretch. I know the importance of stretching, but I don't because my lame ass excuse of being tired is bigger in my mind. Today I made me stretching after all my workouts a major matter. On top of that I reiterated the fact that I'm a transformation trainer and this what a top notch trainer would do. I remember looking at my Insanity videos and how Shaun T stretches after each session. He's one of my role models, so I have to model greatness in order to expose my greatness.